As difficult as it has been, to rouse our majestic form out of a state of virtual perpetual slumber – we’ve managed it. You’re welcome! Part of the impetus for this incredible display or monumental effort, has been the realisation that something called “artificial intelligence” (more on that later), can actually do most – if not all – of the work for us. Gosh. That’s one hell of an incentive to get to work. And here it is… generative ai’s version of an appropriate opening paragraph (which is, of course, now the second paragraph.. but we’ll never let facts get in the way of a good story. Or even a dull one. Any story, really). Take it away, Ai!
Imagine a world where the race to lead one of the most dynamic, innovative, and youthful nations on earth looks less like a sleek, high-speed drag race and more like a leisurely game of shuffleboard at the retirement community. Yes, folks, the upcoming U.S. Federal election is shaping up to be just that, with favored candidates Donald Trump and Joe Biden gearing up for what can only be described as the political equivalent of deciding who gets the last pudding cup in the dining hall. In one corner, we have Trump, whose tweets are as fast as his golf cart rides, and in the other, Biden, who promises a return to a time when politics was as calm and predictable as his favorite pair of aviator sunglasses. Buckle up—or maybe don’t, you’ve got plenty of time—it’s going to be a race that reminds us all that age is just a number, especially when it comes to the spirited task of running a country that’s always ready for its next TikTok challenge.
Oh yes, we’re supposed to put in a heading. Or a Heading.
Donald Trump vs Joe Biden Showdown
Go us. Yes, really. Pretty well done on our part. A Heading. Now to back it up with an image. And yet again, Ai is there to provide the artistic muscles we simply do not have. Nor do we have the drive to use them, even if they were to magically appear.
Trump vs Biden
First to the lectern gets to plug in their pacemaker!
That’s about the story, actually. Only it’s not a story, because everyone already knows it. The U.S. of A. has sent heralds throughout the hallowed halls of power of every institution in the land. They’ve interrupted board meetings of every powerful organisation, they’ve investigated and interrogated the capabilities, track-record, preferences and aspirations of every man, woman and child of the U.S. of A.’s 336,085,637 population… and decided the two people best suited to represent this amazing nation are …… Donald Trump and Joe Biden! How the crowds cry with absolute happiness!
What percentage of the U.S. of A.’s population want Donald Trump vs Joe Biden as an election choice? Not really sure… but some folk are suggesting 60% to 70% don’t want either gentleman to run for election. Not that either is going to be doing a whole heap of running. Nor jogging. Probably quite a bit of stumbling. And falling. Hopefully more of the former and less of the latter. For everyone’s sake.
Cue Ai for another image.
There’s no likeness here. Not because it’s not possible. Just because it’s likely to take a lot of effort. Even with super-amazing-clever Ai doing the legwork. It seems that even the tools that are going to take our jobs away from us, still require us to work for them doing all our work for us. Go figure.
Hey Ai, what’s a suitable wrap-up? We’re due somewhere to do nothing.
Donald Trump vs Joe Biden Slowdown
As the curtains close on what could only be described as the geriatric Olympics of political showdowns, let’s remember that democracy, in its infinite wisdom, often resembles a family reunion dance-off: unpredictable, a little awkward, but ultimately a testament to the enduring spirit of competition and the belief that age, indeed, is no barrier to ambition. Whether our next leader is more at home in the Twitterverse or prefers the comfort of a good old-fashioned town hall, one thing’s for certain—the United States is about to choose its next commander in shuffleboard. And as the dust settles on this electoral saga, let’s not forget to cherish the spectacle of it all, for in the end, it’s the lively debate, the spirited discourse, and yes, even the occasional meme-worthy gaffes, that keep the vibrant heart of American democracy beating.
But you know us – or at least, someone does. Somewhere. Hope they like us. Nah. Trawling for sycophants is too much like freaking hard work. We’ll entertain you with another image instead. Curtesy Ai, of course.
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God Bless Americans, who at least know what all this is about. This election thing-y. The rest of us are told it’s a monumental event of historical proportions. It’s hard to yawn more than we are right now.
Time to slump back into our hibernation. See you when the seasons turn, at which time you can tell us all about the excitement we missed.